mave’s

Christmas this year is packed!

It started a week before,

My Hope Singapore

With my connect group.

Christmas Party at Carol’s

We danced, caroled, laughed and made merry. (:

Candlelight/Christmas service at CHC, Expo.

First Christmas celebration with Jason.

More photos and details later! (:

Christmas Appreciation KTV with LAM.

More photos and details later too! (:

This Candlelight service,
as I was holding on to my candle,
using my hands to guard my flame from the winds,
God spoke.

“A bruised reed He will not break, And smoking flax He will not quench, Till He sends forth justice to victory”
Matt 12:20

Doesnt matter how hard and in which direction the wind tries to snuff you out,
God is always our protector, guide, and shelter,
as long as we, the flame, do not let ourselves blow out.

Merry Merry Christmas. (:

I cant wait for Christmas!

I love Christmas,
feels cold and warm at the same time.
Cold, cause its white and jingly.
Warm, because lights are lit, hearts are loved.

Attended Liabilities Ops’ Christmas celebration last night.

How I miss the people, especially TSAdmin.
We ate and laughed like freedom was returned to us.
It felt like home to Jan and I.

But what Calvin said makes sense,
“Make sure that you will miss us as much when you go back hor.”

And I always remember what Jason says,
“Life’s too short to frown. Be the sunshine you have always been.”

Thank God for Jason and these new friends I made at the new team.

But I still want to believe God that I can go back,
home.

Jason and I wanted to do something for our colleagues on tues.
And we bought Yakult for everyone!!

I love some of their replies,
“Eh Mavis, you want us to go to toilet early in the morning right?”
“Oei, how you know I stomachache? Thanks ah!”

Although these comments didnt get into the Guiness Book of Records,

I know they loved it.

I am actually excited about My Hope Singapore this Thursday!
I dont know if its the food, the people, the video testimony, the new friends, or issit the hilarious mtv.
But I think it might be salvation.

You know what?
Salvation is exciting!
If the whole of heavens rejoices when 1 soul is saved,
and Jesus is more than willing to die for just 1 soul,
why shouldnt we feel at least a peppershake of woohoo??

And you know what again? Haha.
I am beginning to love my connect group.
Hold your horses!!
I dont mean that I didnt love them before,
Im just beginning to appreciate every single one’s beauty.

That willingness to serve, the fervency to pray, that hunger for worship.
I see these all in you, you know?
Nigel, Louise, Jean, Serene, Michael, not forgetting Violet and Liru.

It was definitely tough in the beginning,
didnt know where to start, couldnt put a finger to it, cant visualise how to continue,
being the youngest and having the least work/life experience in the group.

But as I begin to value each’s beauty,
I know these lovely people are going to make a difference.

Nothing changed you know?

Only thing that did was my mindset.

Am about to go to bed, and something came to mind.

There was no YL Tues’ Meet this week.
So Jason and I decided to go for a quick dinner at Funan,
before he left for Riverwalk.

The moment we stepped into Funan,
I saw a familiar face.

It was him, Allan.
My scarred past.

He looked at me, smiled and looked at Jason, while Jason was deciding if we should go to Pastamania or the foodcourt.
I smiled back at him, and realised
that I didnt hate him anymore.

I hated him for not allowing me to wear pink.
I hated him for stopping me from wearing skirts.
I hated him for not allowing me to sit in the train when there was only 1 available seat.
I hated him for killing all my friendships.
I hated him for quitting his job and relying on my finances to pay for our expenses.
I hated him for making me leave God.
I hated him for pouring water over my head.
I hated him for banging my hands into the walls.
I hated him for pushing me, letting the back of my head hit the edge of a concrete drain.
I hated him for hurling vulgarites at me.
I hated him for throwing his guitar at me.
I hated him for smearing blood on my face.
I hated him for making the police come.

I hated him.

But when I was holding Jason’s hand,
I smiled at Allan.

That hatred was gone.
Because I found love.

Jason wanted to love me, but I pushed him away so many times,
cause I didnt want my past, my dirt, to stain him.

But his unconditional love and steadfastness touched my heart.
He cleaned the dirt off my heart, not expecting anything in return.

I asked him once,
“What if you keep trying, and get nothing at the end?”

He said “Just let me try, I want you to be happy.”

Perfect love casts out all fear.

God wants to love us.
He wants us to be happy.
He wants to heal our hurts.
He wants to clean our wounds.

But dont hold on to your past so tightly,
dont push God away.

Let love in.

“You are beautiful beyond description
Too marvellous for words
Too wonderful for comprehension
Like nothing ever seen or heard

Who can grasp Your infinite wisdom
Who can fathom the depths of Your love

And I stand
I stand In awe of You
Holy God to whom
All praise is due
I stand in awe of You”

Testimonies are like memorial stones.
Use them to build people up.
Alternatively, you can choose to throw them at the devil.

Pen down your testimonies.
Keep reading them, no matter in good times or bad.
If God can do it once for you in the past,
He can do it better for you this time, and the next, and the next.

Cause God is good and we can trust in His character.

A leader who is true wins the respect of her people.
Today, she won my heart.

Prayer meeting at gershon’s place was a blast.
Everyone was hungry to pray.
We were fighting to make our prayers heard.
Many times the voices clashed but that didnt put out any fired-up spirits.

Exciting times are yet to come.

Fun draws people.
Love makes them stay.

This family is gona explode.
50, here we come.

Looking back at who I was, and where I have come from,
I am utterly thankful for every single thing in my life today.

I gave up His presence, I gave up friendships, I gave up fellowship.
All for a painful lesson learnt.

No point harping on what happened I know,
but I feel that it is important to realise the finger of God moving in my life, and to be in constant and consistent thanksgiving,
for pulling me out of the mudpool,
and into a refreshing spring.

He didnt leave, He was waiting for His prodigal child to turn back.

I did.

Leadership, career, love, all given by Him.
Without His grace, I would still be nothing.

But He did not die for a zero.
He did it all for me.

I want to remember visions that He has shown, words that He whispered, comfort which He freely poured over.
He told me I am going to be a leader who loves her people.
He told me to give up living in a small me, to live in a big Him.

Thank God for second chances,
and I think Ive used quite a fair bit.

Dear God,
You are the best.
I love You because You first loved me.
Thank You.

Time to pick out whats been left behind.
Blow away the dust and sweep away the cobwebs.

Here I am, afresh.